would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
