nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
