its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
