U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
