She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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