Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
