I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
