As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
