with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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