i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize