What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
