Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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