Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
