there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
