My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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