I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
