the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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