that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
