I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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