yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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