remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Text me some of your sweat
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