4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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