Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
