ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
