these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
