Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
