There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
