Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
