Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
