nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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