Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
