she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
