She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
