you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
