Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
