we're blogging at a bar
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
