No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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