I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
