A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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