The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
