I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
