Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
