oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
