I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
