I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
