I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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