Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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