Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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