Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
