My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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