was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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