i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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