You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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