I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
