Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
