i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize