I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize