cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
