Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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