I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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