He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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