Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
