nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize